Transcript for Disorganization XIII Episode 3

Narrator: Can Riku see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Riku: They're making me wear a frickin blindfold.

Narrator: Wrong!

(Opening sequence)

Xemnas: Alright, so we're all in a agreement, it's pronounced tomato (tom-ar-toe). Not tomato (tom-ay-toe).

Riku: Hey, is this the Organization?

Xemnas: Oh God it's him again. Go away!

Riku: Is this the Organization?

Xemnas: No!

Riku: Xemnas is that you?

Xemnas: You're not wanted here.

Riku: Guys I got the robe.

Xemnas: Go away.

Vexen: Wait a minute guys, is that my bestest buddy Riku? I love him!

Xemnas: Shut up Vexen. You, Noobcake make him go away.

Roxas: Who? Me?

Xemnas: (Sarcasm) No I mean Saix.

Saix: Yes sir Master Xemnas sir.

Xemnas: I was being sarcastic!

Roxas: I'm going.

Riku: Hey are you in the Organization?

Roxas: Err yeah.

Riku: Well I got the robe. So does that mean I can join now?

Roxas: Where'd you even get that?

Riku: Lets just say I did some things I'm not proud of.

Marluxia: We made sweet love.

Xemnas: Damnit Marluxia. How many times have I told you not to give away our robe for sexual favours?

Riku: I was the fireman.

Marluxia: I was the hose.

Lexaeus: Man what up with all you white folk and the butt sex not in prison?

Riku: Err is that a yes?

Luxord: You can join us on one condition. You have to pass the initiation tests for each one of us. There's a thirteen in one chance you'll pass the test.

Riku: Okay.

Narrator: Test number one.

Roxas: Okay for my test, we must fight.

(Fight scene between Riku and Roxas)

Riku: Yays I win!

Vexen: Yay he won!

Xaldin: Vexen we don't want him here.

Riku: You know what? Screw the robe. (Takes off robe)

Narrator: Test number two.

Larxene: Does my ass look big in this?

Riku: Err yeah.

Lexaeus: Ha damn!

Narrator: Test number three.

Marluxia: We must make sweet love.

Riku: Hey I already did that.

Marluxia: Oh yeah. See you around the castle hunky funky.

Narrator: Test number four.

Luxord: Is this your card?

Riku: Nope.

Luxord: Damnit! I guess you pass.

Narrator: Test number five.

Demyx: You gotta jam with me to pass.

Riku: Okay.

(One rocking duel later)

Demyx: Dude that was awesome to the extreme.

Narrator: Test number six.

Riku:...

Axel: (Blinks)

Riku:...

Axel: You pass.

Xemnas: GOD DAMNIT AXEL!!!

Narrator: Test number seven.

Saix: Don't worry Master Xemnas, I won't let you down 'cause I'm Saix, the most yaoi person in this entire castle.

Riku: Err you?

Marluxia: I'm a close second.

Xigbar: Yargh! Who makes all of this yaoi?

Marluxia: Guilty as charged.

Narrator: Test number eight.

Zexion: You gotta slit your wrists.

Riku: I already do that.

Zexion: Write poetry.

Riku: Yeah I already do that too.

Zexion: You gotta sit with me in my emo corner for thirty hours straight.

Riku: Okay.

Xemnas: You have to prove yourself Zexion. I don't want that f***ing guy in the group.

Zexion: Don't worry, I will.

(30 boring hours later)

Zexion: Wow! I don't feel all that bad anymore. I think today's actually a good day. I'm gonna go enjoy the sunshine for a bit.

Xemnas: God's rip, you people need to do something really really hard.

Narrator: Test number nine.

Lexaeus: Damn white people.

Riku: Okay I...erm just gonna assume that's a pass.

Narrator: Test number ten.

Vexen: Okay you have to be my bestest bestest bestest friend in the whole entire world in order to pass my test.

Riku: Okay I'm your bestest bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Vexen: Look at that, you passed. Good job. Yay!

Narrator: Test number eleven.

Xaldin: Okay Riku, are you ready for the most hardcore test of your life?

Riku: Erm no.

Xaldin: Too bad. You must run across the pit of fire while dodging the fire scorpions of Calliar seven and obtain the goblet of ice while playing the guitar solo of Through the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce then go to New Jersey and fetch me a cup of coffee. Any questions?

Riku: Erm is there anyway I can pass this one?

Xaldin: NO!

Riku: Please?

Xaldin: Yeah sure whatever.

Narrator: Test number twelve.

Xigbar: Riku, are you ready for my test? You think you can dodge all my bullets?

Riku: Okay I can try.

Xigbar: BULLETS OF A THOUSAND DEATHS!!! Aww no that was like...oh whatever I'm still shooting. I missed. God damnit.

Narrator: Test number thirteen.

Xemnas: DAMNIT ALL OF YOU!! Fine! If you pass this, you're in. First, you have to wear this blindfold the entire time.

Riku: Erm okay. Now to put the robe back on for dramatic affect!

Xemnas: Now follow me to the roof.

Riku: Erm are you sure this is safe?

Xemnas: Very. Now take three steps forward.

Riku: Am I on the edge?

Xemnas: No now jump forward.

Riku: I don't think I should do this.

Xemnas: Fine, then you're not in the Organization.

Riku: (Jumps) Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Larxene: Oh my God! He actually did it!

Xemnas: And after that, we never saw him again and that's the story of the last person who tried to join the Organization. So do you still wanna be part of the Organization Xion?

Xion: Hell no. Wait how did Vexen get in?

Narrator: Meanwhile in an undisclosed location.

Riku: DiZ they wouldn't let me in.

DiZ: What? No underling of mine will be rejected from those heap of failures. Not if I had anything to say about it.

Riku: So you'll help?

DiZ: Not only that, I'll help you crush them from the inside like some form of angsty cancer or the common cold. I hear there's no cure for that (bleep). We'll get the whole squad in on it. (Laughs)

Riku: (Laughs)

DiZ: Shut up.

Riku: Okay.