Transcript for Disorganization XIII Episode 1

(Opening sequence)

Xemnas: It's good to see everyone here. I suppose you all got my e-mail?

Axel: Whoa whoa wait! That was you?

Lexaeus: You gave me a fricking virus.

Xigbar: Yargh! Ye should have sent it to me MySpace.

Xemnas: We can discuss this later. Right now we...

Larxene: You have a MySpace? Aren't you like a little old?

Demyx: MySpace is for emos.

Zexion: Hey I take offense to that.

Luxord: I'll say. Facebook is far superior.

Roxas: Totally.

Lexaeus: Shut your god damn mouth up newbie!

Xemnas: That's enough. Lets focus...

Zexion: I'm still mad at you Demyx.

Vexen: Honestly, the time you always...

Xemnas: SILENCE!! Good. Now that I have your attention, we can...

Zexion: (Crying)

Xemnas: Oh for Ansem's sake, what's your problem?

Zexion: You just...I mean...It's just...I hate it when people yell at me like that.

Xaldin: Oh come on.

Marluxia: It's okay sweetie.

Luxord: Bloody crybaby!

Roxas: Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?

Xemnas: Gentlemen! Silence!

Larxene: Erm hello?

Xemnas: WHAT!?

Larxene: Who are you calling a gentlemen?

Axel: You gotta be kidding me!

Xigbar: Yargh! Can I go now?

Xemnas: NO!! We have got important businesses to discuss. Before we begin, I think we should all...

Saix: Master Xemnas!

Xemnas: What?

Saix: Demyx and Lexaeus are making fun of you.

Demyx: Dude, you're being a square.

Lexaeus: Saix you God damn pussy get over here for BEATS!!...I'm kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm not gonna beat you. But you're a God damn pussy!!

Xemnas: SHUT UP!!! ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Zexion: Stop yelling at me. You don't know what it's like to be me.

Marluxia: Can't you see you're hurting his feelings?

Xaldin: I swear, I'm going to stab all of you in the face!

Axel: Whoa calm it down there big guy.

Vexen: I calculate the odds of this group doing anything practical...

Xemnas: For the love of God LISTEN TO ME!!!...Alright now that we have all that in the way, lets introduce ourselves to our newest member Roxas.

Axel: Would it make more sense for him to just introduce himself? Then we...

Xemnas: No it wouldn't. Shut the hell up! Xigbar you start us off.

Xigbar: Ahoy there me mateys! I be Xigbar and I like to shoot things with guns instead of slingshots. See? Guns.

Xaldin: Erm I'm Xaldin and erm I will stab you...every last one of you.

Vexen: I'm Vexen and I'm easily the brightest one here. I know the exact rally of pi and you don't.

Axel: Nobody cares Vexen!

Vexen: Oh shut up you ignorant little bra...

Saix: I'm Saix and I'll only do what Lord Xemnas will.

Lexaeus: Damn kiss ass. I'm Lexaeus and I like fried chicken and smashing things.

Zexion: I'm Zexion and I like writing poetry. Mostly about how dark and empty my soul is. Sometimes about how depressing it is to...

Demyx: Dude!

Zexion: Hey I wasn't finished yet.

Demyx: I'm Demyx. I got this wicked sitar and it will melt your soul.

Axel: I'm Axel. I...I honestly don't know why I'm here. Seriously I'm thinking of quitting.

Luxord: My name is Luxord. I manage the finances of this little group. I also enjoy games of chance. Five to one says you'll leave this group and end up in some wretched city called Twilight Town. Any takers?

Marluxia: Hey there cutie! I'm Marluxia. I just love strolls in flowery meadows. You should totally come with me sometime.

Lexaeus?: FRICKIN HOMO!!!

Larxene: The name's Larxene. I like needles...and shopping. I really like shopping for needles...and shoes. Shoes are great.

Xemnas: And that's enough of that. On to the task at hand. What shall we...

Roxas: Don't I get to introduce myself?

Xemnas: I SAID on to the task at hand. What shall we name the group?

Lexaeus: How about Team Four Sta-...oh f*ck that sh*t that one's been taken.

Axel: I'd say we call ourselves the Do Nothings, because we do nothing. Seriously are we ever gonna...

Vexen: How about the Calculating Kings?

Demyx: Lame! I'd say we call ourselves Demyx and the Rockettes.

Xaldin: Erm seriously guys, I could like stab him right now and nobody would miss him.

Zexion: I thought we'd call ourselves The Bleeding Hearts of Nobody. Name it after my band. It's like dark emo music. Yeah.

Xigbar: Yargh! Just gun me captain and I'll be fine.

Marluxia: (Singing) The Pink Wonder Warriors!

Luxord: We should be the The World Guards.

Saix: Akatsuki. It means bloody moon. I like the moon.

Roxas: I think that's taken.

Larxene: I'll be happy as long as we don't have to wear these tacky cloaks anymore.

Marluxia: I hear you sister.

Xemnas: Then it's settled. We shall call ourselves Organization XIII.

Vexen: WHAT?!

Demyx: No no no!

Xigbar: Yargh!! Can I go home now? PLEASE!!

Marluxia: Not fabulous!

Zexion: It figures, he doesn't listen to me. Nobody ever does.

Xaldin: Seriously guys, I'm not even kidding. If you want to bleed, I will make it happen.

Axel: I still say "The Do Nothings".

Xemnas: All of you SHUT UP!! We're calling it Organization XIII and that's final!

Vexen: What if one of us dies?

Roxas: Or quits.

Xemnas: I...erm...it's too late, I already bought the sign for the castle.

Axel: Then why did you waste our time with this stupid meeting?

Demyx: I have a gig in Traverse Town.

Vexen: I can't take this anymore. I have some more experiments to complete.

Lexaeus: I missed Cops from this damn meeting...then basketball on the grape juice channel. F*ck I'm racist God!

Xemnas: I'm glad you all agree that the name is brilliant and that I am a genius. This meeting is officially ajourned.

Roxas: What have I done?

Narrator: And so the first meeting of the Organization XIII concludes. What nefarious plots will unfold? Tune in next time on Disorganization XIII.